The Grace Project
Bearing witness to survivors of narcissistic abuse
Welcome to the Grace Project
‘I am a therapist working with survivors of narcissistic abuse. The men and women I have come to know are courageous, insightful and determined people. They are truly an inspiration. Initially, when they came in for therapy it was often depression or anxiety or an eating disorder or alcohol dependency that they disclosed but after some time it became clear to me that something much more sinister was going on. Over time it emerged that they were being belittled, verbally and/or physically abused, diminished, stolen from, controlled, lied to and lied about, on a daily basis. This was often a partner but parents, children, siblings, colleagues, therapists and others could also behave in this way. 

Very often this turns out to be narcissistic abuse or indications of coercive control (a crime).
This is likely at the heart of maladaptive behaviours and their abusive partners were only too happy to frame this suffering as their partner’s ‘madness’. This is projection. The madness is in them. Narcissistic abusers are masters/mistresses of manipulation. 

This form of abuse is smoke and mirrors and the abuser grooms everyone in his or her life. No one is spared their version of events. In the end the partner of the narcissist is left alone, confused, sick and mentally very unwell. Often, they blame themselves. It is for this reason that I consider narcissistic abuse the perfect murder. More often than not it is the abuser who gains sympathy. The truth is that the narcissistic abuser treats everyone as a fool.
The Grace Project in the media
Are you suffering from relationship burnout?
BACP counsellor Margaret Ward-Martin, founder of The Grace Project (thegraceproject.co.uk), describes relationship burnout as “a bit like buying a house and only noticing the damp patches after you move in”.
Whether you’re married or not, once the honeymoon phase is over, it’s easy to become complacent – or for the stress of daily life to wear you down.
Ward-Martin says letting go of perfectionism is a good first step: “It’s unhelpful – as humans we are fundamentally flawed.” As is apologising for your role in contributing to the situation, which means three things: “A meaningful apology, an amend, and not repeating the cause of sorrow.”
If you’re struggling to deal with the issues that come up, relationship counselling may help, and there are practical steps you can take to reestablish intimacy.
Are you suffering from relationship burnout?
11 Ways Parents Make Their Kids Feel Guilty Without Realizing It
“As little ones, the greatest joy for a child is to see their caregivers happy,” said therapist Margaret Ward-Martin. “All they want to do is to please them and so they will — at the cost, sometimes, of what they want, thus giving rise to the disease of people-pleasing. Children feel bad if they feel they have let the grown-ups in their lives down; this is guilt.”
Ways we can help you...
Listen to our podcast
Visit our podcast page where you will find audio and videos from Margaret and interviews with experts in the areas of narcissitic behaviour, mental abuse,
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