In many ways, it's easier, because you have a label/certain expectations/a state of alertness. Just as you may have engaged in maladaptive behaviours to manage your own distress, so has the addict. However, at some stage, it got out of hand. They never intended to become an addict but it happened. They are are broken in their own way and this is not the place to speculate as to how they find peace. Our work here is to keep you safe and manage your way out of the darkness. If you are both drowning , one of you will get pushed under.
Your partner tells you he or she was in a narcissistically abusive relationship. What to do with this information is of concern to you. As with recovery for the survivor, psychoeducation is a powerful antidote to the hurt. Currently, there is no specific diagnosis for this type of psychological injury but experts in the field are discussing whether Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome should be included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).