Note to Self

This is a bold post asking you to consider your part in the relationship or situation. If you acknowledge your part and take responsibility, you can change. In many ways this is your superpower.

mirror fragments on gray surface with the reflection of a person s arm

Mirror, Mirror: Narcissists and Envy

Narcissists are pathologically envious. You’d like to think they’d be pleased when you get that promotion or win the award but any perceived threat to their status as the only one deserving of attention, ever, is noted and brutally dealt with.

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach

When your Narcissist is an Addict

In many ways, it’s easier, because you have a label/certain expectations/a state of alertness. Just as you may have engaged in maladaptive behaviours to manage your own distress, so has the addict. However, at some stage, it got out of hand.

They never intended to become an addict but it happened. They are are broken in their own way and this is not the place to speculate as to how they find peace. Our work here is to keep you safe and manage your way out of the darkness. If you are both drowning , one of you will get pushed under.

photo of woman carrying baby

When The Narcissist is Your Parent

This is the deepest wound.  As a therapist, I feel this requires the most focussed of work.  NA by a parent creates confusion and self-doubt.  It results in a an exceptional brokenness of the person.  

There is cognitive dissonance.  Leon Festinger* identified this state as one where your set of beliefs contradict how you feel. So, you know your parents love you (they tell you) and that they look after you (you have a home/food) but you feel anxious/scared/unsafe, around them.  


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