Let’s Begin…

“Unfortunately, lies spread faster than the truth; time and integrity are the right countermeasures.

To survive a narcissist, you must have a fierce determination and unbreakable persistence to reclaim your identity, reputation, and sanity.

The narcissist is not bound to reality, morality, or decency and will paint you in a negative light to whoever they think will believe them.”

~Steven C. Knapp (used with permission).

An introduction to The Grace Project:

Who We Are

What We Do

Our Mission

The Grace Project is a collaborative effort to provide a safe space for survivors of Narcissistic Abuse (NA). It bears witness to those who have suffered this type of abuse and offers sanctuary and support to those who are frightened and confused. In this place you will learn what has happened or is happening, how it happens and why you are worth more than the way you are or were treated. NA is indiscriminate. It pervades every society and culture and varies little in its presentaiton. NA as a pattern of behaviour is a universal language and it’s ugly in all dialects.

The Grace Project is a place to share experiences , ask for support, understand what is happening and establish a network that validates your experience. It also aims to restore you to yourself. One way in which we aim to do this is by informing you and our blog and resources pages are there to enlighten and guide. Through education, dissemination and  conversation, we can all become more aware of this form of abuse, explore how best to intervene and ways in which to heal.

The Grace Project is so named because narcissistic relationships can bring out the worst in those suffering this type of relentless assault. You may behave in ways that leave you feeling ashamed. guilty and diminished. The hope here is to provide insight, outreach, understanding and education about NA so that you can prepare for life without the narcissist.

As the confusion is lifted and awareness raised, decisions about how you wish to live your life will become clear. This is a restorative place where you can regain your sense of self and plan life away from the narcissist. Above all, the mission of The Grace Project is to raise you up and to help you recognise the power you have as a survivor and thriver.

Welcome to The Grace Project

I am a therapist working with survivors of narcissistic abuse. The men and women I have come to know are courageous, insightful and determined people. They are truly an inspiration.

Initially, when they came in for therapy it was often depression or anxiety or an eating disorder or alcohol dependency that they disclosed but after some time it became clear to me that something much more sinister was going on. Over time it emerged that they were being belittled, verbally and/or physcially abused, diminshed, stolen from, controlled, lied to and lied about, on a daily basis. This was often a partner but parents, children, siblings, colleagues, therapists and others could also behave in this way.

Very often this turns out to be narcissistic abuse or indications of coercive control ( a crime). This is likely at the heart of maladaptive behaviours and their abusive partners were only too happy to frame this suffering as their partner’s “madness”. This is projection. The madness is in them. Narcissistic abusers are masters/mistresses of manipulation.

This form of abuse is smoke and mirrors and the abuser grooms everyone in his or her life. No one is spared their version of events. In the end the partner of the narcissist is left alone, confused, sick and mentally very unwell. Often, they blame themselves. It is for this reason that I consider narcissistic abuse the perfect murder. More often than not it is the abuser who gains sympathy. The truth is that the narcissistic abuser treats everyone as a fool.

Margaret Ward-Martin
BA (Hons), MA, PGCE, Post Graduate Cert. in Coaching Psychology, MBACP, Int. Aff. APA