~Steven C. Knapp (used with permission).

An introduction to The Grace Project:

Welcome to The Grace Project

I am a therapist working with survivors of narcissistic abuse. The men and women I have come to know are courageous, insightful and determined people. They are truly an inspiration.

Initially, when they came in for therapy it was often depression or anxiety or an eating disorder or alcohol dependency that they disclosed but after some time it became clear to me that something much more sinister was going on. Over time it emerged that they were being belittled, verbally and/or physcially abused, diminshed, stolen from, controlled, lied to and lied about, on a daily basis. This was often a partner but parents, children, siblings, colleagues, therapists and others could also behave in this way.

Very often this turns out to be narcissistic abuse or indications of coercive control ( a crime). This is likely at the heart of maladaptive behaviours and their abusive partners were only too happy to frame this suffering as their partner’s “madness”. This is projection. The madness is in them. Narcissistic abusers are masters/mistresses of manipulation.

This form of abuse is smoke and mirrors and the abuser grooms everyone in his or her life. No one is spared their version of events. In the end the partner of the narcissist is left alone, confused, sick and mentally very unwell. Often, they blame themselves. It is for this reason that I consider narcissistic abuse the perfect murder. More often than not it is the abuser who gains sympathy. The truth is that the narcissistic abuser treats everyone as a fool.

Margaret Ward-Martin
BA (Hons), MA, PGCE, Post Graduate Cert. in Coaching Psychology, MBACP, Int. Aff. APA